Returning to my favorite stadium as a (gasp!) adult...

This evening I will be dusting off a jersey that I haven't worn in over a year. I plan to attend the University of Michigan versus Michigan State University hockey game at Yost Ice Arena this evening.

It's actually the only UofM-MSU home hockey game this year, and I probably couldn't have picked a rowdier crowd to sit in. For those who remember last year, it got so ugly that a heated and unsolicited shot to the back ended up really injuring a UofM player, the MSU attacker was thrown out, and the UofM player's dad snuck into the Spartan locker room to beat the MSU attacker to a pulp. It was ugly, and not very much sportsmanship was practiced at that game.

First of all, I really care about hockey. I watch football, yes, but hockey is by far my favorite sport to follow. As such, when I was a Wolverine student myself, I had season tickets all four years of college and I traveled to all the playoff games in Grand Rapids, Lansing, and wherever. I was in the student section obviously, and I always wore my favorite yellow jersey and a cowboy hat.

This is my dilemma. I'm not a student anymore. I'm stealing my Mom's seat to attend the game with my Dad, and what that means is that my seats are in the exact opposite side of the rink from the student ticket seats I had behind the UofM bench. So what am I supposed to do when the C-Ya cheer starts?

Obviously I can't still say it right? I mean there might be children. Then again, there have always been children and I bet the words are CLEAR as DAY to everyone else in the arena. I know that for a fact because I was like five when I first started going, and they had the cheer back then. I like to think I learned all my swear words from Michigan hockey games. I make my Mom and Dad very proud.

But now that I'm an adult, I'm supposed to be responsible. Before I was a blank face in a unified student crowd. I could say whatever I wanted to, and there were no repercussions. Even when they had their supposed "crack down" (which I'm sure they're pretending to do every year), it didn't really change anything. I mean what were officials going to do, kick out hundreds of students? Have you seen the ushers lately? They're really not physically in the best place to handle all those raging drunks and hockey fans.

Now I can't do that. If I say that cheer at any kind of audible level, my new usher will either be too shocked to know what to do with me or he'll kick me out for good. Plus all my neighbors will glare at me and forever give my parents their Judgey McJudgerson faces.

It makes me sad. I miss being a student sometimes and I really miss being a student fan. I miss standing for the whole game and heckling the visiting goalie. I miss feeling totally comfortable hugging the stranger next to me when we score a goal. If I did that now someone would take out a restraining order.

So I'm officially old. And tonight I'm going to have to come to terms with that fact. But maybe it won't be so bad... because at the end of the day, the real reason I go to games isn't to swear and yell and act like an idiot, right? Granted, those things make it more fun, but I mean I do love watching the team and I love Michigan hockey. Hopefully that's enough. Also, I've rewritten the actual cheer to be more adult-friendly. So I have that to fall back on.

"Ohhhhhh C-YA! Chump (this is actually what they say here, but I don't think this is so bad), phallic word, Wuss (actual word), Amuse-bouche-bag, facehole, finger pricker, cheater (actual word), female dog (practically the actual word), girl who has sex for monetary exchange, girl who sleeps around, pooh face (the actual word is the one that gets people thrown out, and I can't think of a good substitute)."

The point is that I'm trying...